Why would you do that to me?
Where did I fall short?
What did you get from her that you couldn’t get from me?
All these questions will prick my heart and haunt me my entire life. Or at least as long as you last in my heart because clearly I dint last in yours.
Have you ever got abandoned by your parent when you have a new born sibling? I wish you knew how it felt. How getting chosen from feels like. That’s exactly what I felt as an adult trying to come to terms with the dishonest relationship that we had all these years.
A perfect relationship, well at least for me, was ruined by your choices that night. You made her feel how important she was to you. Just the thought of it makes me nauseous.
It feels like a punch on my gut. Like half my arm in a lions mouth and living with whats left. Like whole of The Alps on my heart because trust me a stone wouldn’t do justice.
I wish you had a sensory imagination to feel what I felt. And then have an equivalent apology to fade away the pain. Not a kryptonite to make me weak but A medicine to cure my heartache.
I know I deserve better. I deserve to be with someone who loves me and respects me enough to be honest with me. I don’t deserve to feel this way.
Please, make it go away!